The Distance is Longer...

As I went to click "add post," I realized I had not written a post since the end of July. Perhaps it means I have finally submerged myself into a lifestyle here in Phoenix where I do not feel as dependent as I used to. The life I have here I have made myself, without the hand outs of anyone. I eavesdrop on conversations where acquaintances and friends of mine discuss how their parents bought this, or pay for that, while I know for a fact they are spending their money (while hard earned), on liquor and their late night binges. Is this life one of satisfaction for them? Do they feel fulfilled in all aspects of their life? Or is it just the easy way out, because, let's face it, we could all use a break. I won't lie, I would probably take a handout at this point too, but at least I can be proud in the meantime to say I'm doing it all on my own. I often find myself thinking that I get dealt the short end of stick far too often, but must break myself of that mentality. I have had some rather unfortunate things happen to me in the past couple years, things that not many people I talk to could say the same thing in terms of the severity of the incidents. But I can't keep dwelling on the past, or how the situation I am in is not always ideal. All that I can do at this point, is make the most of it, and find the hidden colors within. Most frequently, I find these colors to be bits and pieces of knowledge about something I never would have concerned myself with had these things never happened. The ignorant soul is dark and sad, but unfortunately, those who are ignorant often don't know how to enlighten themselves, because that path isn't always very easy. I, however, have been blessed with a not so conventional path to obtaining these bits of information, which occasionally could come off as wisdom. Naivety is abundant in society, and I believe it is growing more so by the day. While I can't always bring knowledge to every person I would like (although I try to do that every day with my students), I can bring it to myself. And, if nothing else, the past year and a half has been a learning experience for sure. This year, in comparison to the last, has been significantly better in terms of student behavior and success. How much of it is related to the group of students, and how much is because I have an entire year of experience and confidence under my belt? Only time will tell. I still have a few struggling classes, one with behavior, and the other two with grades and understanding. What I find so interesting, is that I am doing an action research paper using the system of guided notes to see if my students' score will improve through this process, but, the paper is so time consuming, that I actually have less time to help my students in ways that may help them be more successful in the long run. So is life, right? As we're already almost halfway through the school year, I need to figure out my next step. Am I staying in Phoenix? Relocating? Just changing schools? It's hard to say. Even though we are unreasonably treated at my school, I feel as if it has a special place in my heart, and I don't know if I want to leave it, even if I am given offers elsewhere. Those kids, despite some obstacles, have hearts of gold, and I feel like I can make the most bit of difference in the community where I am currently teaching. After all, I am here to help the kids change the trajectory of their education and help them reach their goals. This is their chance. I already had mine, now let's make the most of it. Well, as I was just saying, ASU is insanely demanding this year, so I better get to working on that. And writing a unit plan. And lesson plans. And grading tests. And assignments. And. And. And. :)